Surprise surprise, here I am again. I bet you can’t guess what this one’s going to be about, or what’s spurred it on. (Truth be told, though, if I wasn’t writing this, this would all be in my head and driving me crazy so it’s best that I got it out somewhere, right?) Ah, yes. That shit thing that happened / is happening in my life right now – that break up and well, the process of getting over / through that break up. An easy task? Of course. Block them out of your life, pretend the two + years never happened and within a few days, you’ll be right as rain. *Rolls eyes out of head*. It’s bloody shit. Shit, shit, shit. But here I am, telling the tale, two months on, and despite the shitness, I’ve not cried for like, three days – absolute record. Anyway, this blog post isn’t meant to be a negative one, in fact, negativity is something I’m going to talk about seriously avoiding a bit later on, but that’s the context, anyway, for anyone wondering what crisis this blog post is discussing! (Because what else do I blog about, really???)
The past few weeks of my life have been a little strange. A little bitter, uncomfortable and a little shit, if I’m honest. The last time I wrote a blog post, the weeks prior had also been a little shit, and I should’ve expected this, really. I’ve gone on about this in about three blog posts now, but it’s pretty current in my life – and expect will be for quite a while – and is affecting me in a lot of ways. Breaking up with someone is usually an unpleasant experience. For me, it’s probably the most unpleasant thing I’ve ever done – I’d even rate it above A-Levels, and that’s a pretty big statement. I think when you break up with someone, you’re forced into this strange, unfamiliar, unpleasant, metaphorical and emotional place. For some – depending on the situation, obviously – it might be a bitter, angry place. For others, it may be of deep sadness and some people may even find it to be a place of solitude and relief, but for me, it’s definitely a place I’m not entirely comfortable in and a place I didn’t expect to be in.
Picture the scene. You’re bored – or probably procrastinating – and you see someone has shared a post on facebook entitled ’50 Questions to ask a girl if you really want to know who she is.’ Despite having a billion other things to do, or a billion other potential activities to immerse yourself in, you open up the page and begin to answer the questions in your head. They make you think and all of a sudden, you’re writing the answers in a blog post. Here we go (lol)!
So I am writing this post at half past 11 on my birthday and I’ve had a lovely day. I saw my family and had a nice night out with my friends on Saturday and overall this birthday has been a lot less terrifying than the last one – and by that, I mean by my 18th being a hideous anxiety ridden night of terror.
I’m kind of just doing this so I can get it out because I’ve been feeling like this a lot lately and I think that I just need to put it somewhere instead of keeping it all in my head.
So I finished my teaching practice at the start of February and have had some time off since then. After my placement I was kind of happy to be finished – purely because it meant I could sleep – but I was also pretty sad because I enjoyed it so much. Since then I’ve kind of been feeling a little bit ‘meh’. I’m not sure why, but I just think I’ve been feeling a little rubbish and have been overthinking everything to the point where my head is like ????????
Okay, so it’s been 3 months since I last did this, and throughout the time I haven’t, I kinda’ missed it. I’m not sure it’s just the human part of me that likes to talk about my feelings, or whether it’s just because I’ve wanted to write something – or anything.
In the 3 months that have passed, I’ve started University, completed my first 8 week teaching placement, been to London and done a few more things that I’m not sure I would’ve saw myself doing a few years back. I guess now, I’ll tell you a little about them. 🙂
Although starting this blog is not what I mean by the title, ‘ A New Adventure’, it is kind of a new adventure considering I’ve never blogged before – unless you count tumblr as ‘blogging’ and then I’ve been ‘blogging’ images and relevant text posts for quite a while – E.G
ME: *SEES MY STUFFED ANIMAL ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO MY BED*
ME: WHY WASN’T I A BETTER PARENT (x)
My new adventure is named below (and in the title as a last minute edit – damn) and I hope you enjoy a little (or ‘lottle’) insight into my worries / thoughts surrounding the whole thing.