Greetings to all, Merry Christmas, happy Sunday and finally, hope you’re all okay! (Unconventional opening for originality – unsure of effectiveness) Here she is, back again and still alive, what an achievement. The last few months have been a bit of a blur, really, but then again, so has this entire year. So much has happened and so many things have changed that I’m unsure of where to start, but as the title of this post states, tinder has been a particularly interesting experience this year, so I’ll just go straight in with that, I think.
So I’m currently sat watching Shrek 2 on the sofa of our uni house with a cuppa, whilst my flatmate bathes away her sins and our washing machine continues to wash the same clothes that it’s been washing for the past four hours. Times are good. But let’s not beat around the bush. In July, I joined the interesting world of tinder. I wouldn’t say I was particularly looking for a boyfriend, I guess I was just intrigued by it and thought it’d be humorous, but my oh my, what a time it has been. I’ve learnt things about myself through being on tinder that I don’t think I ever would had I not joined it, and I’ve also had experiences on it that have taught me a lot about dating and all that ‘feelsy’ stuff in general. I guess, here, I’ll just tell you about them and maybe if you’re looking for something to spice up your life a little, or to get yourself out there a little more, then you’ll be a little more informed about it before you do.
My first observation, was that dating online is somewhat easier than in real life – or it seems so, at first. Essentially, if you’re not familiar with tinder, you upload images of yourself and a little bio and people either swipe left if they’re not totally feeling it and right if they think ‘hmm, that’s a bit of me’. If you then swipe right for the person who has swiped right for you when you come across them, you ‘match’ and you are given the opportunity to communicate with each other. This is the aspect that seems relatively easy, as if you were to see someone you liked in real life, you may be less likely to go over to them and I guess, state your intentions. When you match on tinder, it’s pretty simple – although, trying to be original when actually beginning a conversation can be an experience in itself. Ironically, it’d probably be easier to begin a conversation in real life because of the shared context you’d probably be in with the person and as a result, on tinder, you usually just get hit with a terrible chat up line or sometimes just a ‘hey’ if the person is feeling extra creative. I really tried to be original but to be honest, it just got a bit exhausting after a while. It can also be super easy to chat on tinder purely because there’s not that awkward ‘in the moment’ pressure that in person interaction can bring. So yes, there’s definitely an ease that comes with chatting and meeting people online, especially with tinder. You can have some amazing conversations with people you’d never have met in real life, from all walks of life, but at the same time, it’s partly due to the ease of talking to someone through a screen. I know people can just generally be easy to talk to, you could meet someone in real life who is super easy to chat to – and equally, be easy to talk to yourself – but it’s just good to remember that tinder just makes things even easier, and not to be fooled by that, I guess.
My second observation, is that some people on tinder just want one thing, and that’s fine, but if you don’t, just be aware. Perhaps it’s the ease of tinder that I mentioned before that makes people use it for sex, but a lot of people do genuinely use it to build relationships, too. Building romantic relationships can be hard, daunting and also something that people can assume will never happen. I guess tinder is a way to instigate these relationships, or even just to give yourself some confidence.
On that point, I found that tinder really did increase my confidence or faith in myself. Not in an egotistical way, just in an ‘oh, maybe I’m alright, actually’ kinda’ way. Because it’s so easy to talk to people, it can be easy to find confidence in this and your ability to communicate with people. It’s also nice that someone has actively chosen to swipe right for you and in some way finds you attractive, so it can make you feel, like I say, like you’re ‘actually alright’.
So yeah, there’s quite a few advantages to tinder. A few of my friends have met guys on tinder and are in a happy relationship with them to this day, so I don’t think it’s something you should count out in terms of effectiveness, it just depends on how you’d prefer to meet someone I guess. But I will say, that from being on tinder, I have kind of realised that I’d prefer to meet someone in person. Tinder, in a way, gave me the confidence to go out and do this, to speak to people I liked in person, as had I not been on tinder and had some disastrous – and some good – experiences, I probably wouldn’t have gone out and actually had the confidence to speak to people I actually liked in real life. I think after my break up, I kind of needed a bit of a confidence boost and my tinder experiences helped me to work towards that. As of now, I’ve deleted the app purely because I guess I’m not totally looking for love, right now, but who knows what the future will hold, hey? Hopefully, if it’s going to come it’ll come whenever it’s meant to.
So I hope that helped or informed some people about tinder, I guess. It was an interesting little journey for sure, but I learnt a lot about myself and I’m sure you will too if that’s the road you’re going to travel down! Just to finish off, I’ll bullet point (I’m loving bullet points at the moment) some of my experiences just to give you a picture of what’s been going on for the past few months! (Prepare yourselves!) Hope you’re all doing well and that November is treating you well, if not, then roll on December! 🙂
- Well, well, well. My first tinder experience (the first one I kinda’ saw something with) involved a guy who lived near to where I lived. He was working at a law firm and essentially acted like he was so down for lurrve and then basically just never turned up for our date. #Winning #LuckyEscape (His name began with an M and I attempted to avoid M names following this event #RosieLogic .)
- The next one involved me and this guy sending iPhone screen length messages to each other every morning and night – it was an interesting time. He worked at a zoo (cute) but pretty sure he was a real life giant #FiveFootThreeProbs.
- The tinder experience (another one I genuinely saw something with) that followed this involved a guy who chatted to me for weeks, organised a date with me and then ignored me on the days leading up to it #CriedABit #TouchySubject #BitofAWankerAnyway (had good music taste though, you go glen coco) ((Another boy whose name began with ‘M’))
After this guy, I decided to have a break from tinder because my soul was a little hurt despite the fact we’d never met, lol, but I did actually learn a lot from this fella, or should I say, I learnt a lot about how to not be on tinder, from this guy.
- The guy that came after this was super lovely but came just as I’d managed to get my shit back together and essentially, just at the wrong time. As a result of my shite experience with the lad before, when we’d arranged a date and I’d realised I wasn’t totally feeling it, I didn’t ignore him for three days and ended it kindly and sensitively #ThanksMNumber2 (Conveniently, this boy’s name also started with M but he restored my faith in the M’S) ((Also had good music taste and was very interested in the logistics of how Disneyworld operated – good catch, sadly just bad timing)
- The one that followed this guy was an interesting one. When we discovered we went to the same university, we were pretty happy but can confirm that now we don’t talk, it’s not the best. He was a little odd but I was kinda’ feeling it, until he started being a little weird on snapchat and then well, I stopped feeling it. We were meant to go on a date to Ghetto Golf in Liverpool and he essentially bailed on me an hour before. Let’s just say I’m glad I booked it because I just went with my friends instead and they were miles better company! (Also came second who’d have thought?!)
And I guess since then, tinder just hasn’t been the one. I’ve met people in real life since and I feel good. Even without tinder and without meeting people in real life, I feel okay. I’m enjoying the time getting to know myself and improving myself, reflecting on what’s happening and essentially, just focusing on getting my degree. Onwards and upwards, my loves! 🙌