So, first week back at university has been checked off the list and I am officially shattered already. I’ve been back for about three weeks now and commuting life and the pressures of second year are kind of intense already, but that’s looking at the bad bits; I’m trying to do this less, now, after a couple of hard, pessimistic months, and I’m trying to soak up all the good parts of university life and life in general, and so far, I think I’m doing a good job.
This was me and my uni team (now 2N, not 1N), back in May, at my flat party on the last day of term – yes, believe it or not you’re looking at a lot of drunk trainee primary teachers; don’t shoot us, we’d been hit by the freshers year train. It was one of the best nights of my life in our little uni town and we really did end the year on a high. That night, I was surrounded by people that I loved and who I think, love me and it really did feel like a family. I cried my eyes out that night, too – that ‘hard, pessimistic’ related had to come out eventually – and my friends were there through every tear. I knew then that I had some pretty bloody great people around me, and since then, this has only been reinforced.
Finding good friends is hard, I think. We meet all these different people throughout our lives and some of them go on to simply be acquaintances, some just friends, some good friends and some even more than that. But this concept or idea of ‘good friends’ is always something I’ve struggled with. Primary school and high school kind of reinforced to me that I wasn’t exactly that kid that everyone desperately wanted to be friends with, and I think high school can definitely make kids feel that way. Maybe it’s the combination of the need to fit in and the need to sort of prove to people who you are, when you don’t really know who you are yourself, or maybe it’s just the nature of growing up, but high school can be pretty rough and intense when it comes to the friend aspect. High school gave me a lot of ‘friends’ and for a long time I thought i’d be stuck with those who were just ‘friends’. Those people I saw five days a week and who made me feel like I had to be friends with them, purely out of convenience. But you know what? I wasn’t. I wasn’t stuck with them. They say that those people who make an effort to be your friend when you leave high school are the real keepers – the ones who weren’t just there out of convenience. Luckily, I came out of high school with three of those keepers. Three is a small number but I’m pretty sure a lot of us can count our ‘good friends’ on one hand. I am really grateful for these girls. We have been through a lot together, whether that be family stuff, relationship stuff, and even friendship stuff, but at the heart of our friendship is the love we all have for each other. It’s not always easy, we all know each other well and all our little flaws and bad habits, but they were definitely a couple of good eggs and still very much are. In November, I will explore Hamburg and the German Christmas Markets with my three good little eggs and I am pretty damn happy to do so.
Another good egg who entered my life in November 2014, is my boyfriend. He’s a pretty egg, too, which is nice, and he’s also got the biggest heart – I had you there, unintentionally too, haha! – out of everyone I know. He’s a good egg to have around for exploring with and he’s also good at making me feel like I am actually something in life. He brings me up and gives me faith and confidence in myself and I will forever be grateful to him for doing that to me. His love has given me the self-belief that I never had and has made me strong, something that like I said, I will always be grateful for. He encourages me to leave my comfort zone, and I hope I do that too – although I don’t think he really needs me to – and I have had some amazing adventures this year and last as a result of this encouragement. A particular fave has been the camping trip we went on in early September to the Lake District, where we climbed up Stickleback only to finish with a good bit of pub grub, tea, and a cosy few nights stay in a tent – a small tent at that, definitely need a bigger one next time. Camping has never been something I’d ever really considered as throughout my childhood and teens, we had a caravan. The caravan was warm, clean and also a place of comfort and in comparison to a tent…well, the whole thing didn’t seem so appealing. But…I bloody loved it. I loved the muckiness of the field and setting the tent up and going off with a hefty mission of climbing Stickleback. I loved how everyone around was willing to help and how supportive everyone was to the amateur campers in the middle of the field. I think that’s where I thrive best, surrounded by good positive people. It brings me up and makes me happy, it forces me to be me, and a good version of me, I think. And my boyfriend is definitely one of those good, positive people. He’s a pretty good little egg and also my best friend – I think I’ll keep hold of him, too.
But back to the main reason I wrote this post, and the people I wrote it for / around. My uni team. These are people I only met in 2015, in my first year of university when I felt scared, anxious and slightly petrified of what was to come. But you know what? So did they, and now, a year on, we’re all – still petrified – but like peas in a pod. I’ve even been on holiday with the girls – to Dublin, which was pretty damn good and hangover worthy . The thing I love about them, is how they make me feel. Like I said before, being surrounded by positive, good people is pretty good. It’s infectious, almost, and it’s crazy the affect it can have. They don’t want to tear me down, like some friends can, we all want to bring each other up and this counts especially for the girls. Female empowerment is so important to me – God, I sound so pretentious. It’s important to most women, I know – but the power of having girls around you who aren’t competing with you, who’re on your team, who want you to succeed – that’s empowering. Obviously it works both ways, but I really want them all to smash life. I really do – and I know they can, it’s just a matter of us all pooling together to make sure that happens. I think the fact that we’re all trainee Primary School teachers also helps. These people have such big hearts. They care, so, so much and I love being around that. I love talking about it with them and knowing we’ve all got each other’s backs, even when times get tough. And they really have changed me. They’ve made me a better me, just like my friends from home and my boyfriend. These people all give me something. They fill my days with laughter and happiness and I appreciate them all being in my life to do that, without them even having to try. I am grateful, that a friendship that has been built on a love for what we do, a love for each other and a love for helping each other achieve, has been created and that it has given me so much. These people are also the good eggs. Boys and girls, they’re all pretty cool.
And that’s why I wrote this post. I spend nearly everyday with this group of people now I’m back at university and I’m so glad that’s the case. The fun we have is endless and they fill my heart and help me look at the good, which in turn, makes me value them even more. So I guess this a thank you to them – and a thank you to all the other good eggs in my life, even if they never read this. I am lucky to have them, and I always will be.